Bury It

It is the last night of 2015, and I am in a hotel room listening to Halsey. At first, I thought that writing a blog for New Year’s Eve was necessary, but my thinking was at a balk so I dismissed the idea. I was pressed by my mom, but still unable to think of what to write about. I sat myself down, started listening to New Americana, and the whole of 2015 flashed before my eyes. All of the lessons, the hardships, the downfalls, the improvements, the victories, everything; it was beautiful.

If you have ever read anything that I write, letting go of the past is a recurring theme of mine. A quote that has helped me choose to look past pessimism, and accept a more positive outlook on life is as follows:

“You dwell on the past, you can’t move forward. Spend too much time planning     for the future and you just push yourself backwards, or you stay stagnant in the same place all your life. Live in the moment, where everything is just right. Take    your time and limit your bad memories and you’ll get wherever it is you’re going a lot faster and with less bumps in the road along the way.”

The year 2015 taught me that giving up is not an option. Life is too short to succumb to your demons, and to allow your past to get the victory over you. There are so many things to look forward to, but that gives no excuse for us to rush through the moments. Self-actualization was a huge thing for me this year and I have never been so confidant in whom I am until this year.
In 2015, I let go of one of my closest friends (whom I thought I was going to marry eventually), I changed my major after a first year filled with misery, I went out of my comfort zone and ended up in Nashville, TN for Tennessee Intercollegiate State Legislature (a huge deal), I went on my very first date, I was officially diagnosed with anxiety and depressive bipolar disorder (even though my family won’t accept it), I worked three jobs part time with a full load of credits to put myself through school, and through it all I obtained the greatest gift: I found God.

I could care less about what 2016 has to offer me. This is not to say that I am stuck reminiscing over what I overcame in 2015. This is me saying that I need not worry about what is ahead of me or behind me, but to focus simply on what is in front of me. 2015 taught me the importance of embracing who you are, even if you’re completely different from others you may associate with. It taught me to live in the moment, to just shut up sometimes and learn to enjoy comfortable silence. To take in the world around us for all that it is. To push the limits, push your limits and behold all that you are capable of.

I want to thank 2015 for all that it has taught me. Bring it on, 2016.


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